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Why is self care so hard? | Blog

Recently I was told by someone that I needed to self care. She said that my heart was heavy with pressures of the day and that I couldn't pour from an empty cup. To be honest, it came as no great shock. I can't tell you how many times my friends have told me to slow down and how shocked people are when I tell them all of what I do. It wasn't until I really thought about how much I actually do and what responsibility I carry around that I realised how much I need to slow down.

The daily care of the children
Food shops
Meal plans
Clothes shopping
Cleaning the house
Keeping track of the extra curricula stuff
Running my blog
Maintaining 3 social media accounts
Part time work at a bank (although I am on maternity leave at the moment)
Insurance renewals
Pet grooming appointments and vet appointments 
Planning a 30th birthday party
Running our calendars
Directing a pantomime
Walking the dog

Basically I am trying to run a house, look after, raise and teach two children in the hopes they will become decent human beings, look after a dog, run a business and direct a panto. No wonder I am burning myself out! But...I thought I gave myself 'me' time. I go to the gym...I see my friends...I do things for me. Why isn't that enough? Have I got self care wrong?  I think I have. 

The more I have thought about things recently the more I have realised that self care isn't going to the gym or getting out of the house for a couple of hours. It's not expensive spa days and trips away. Self care is listening to what you want to do deep down. It's putting what you want first for once and actually doing it. It's eating that bar of chocolate or making time to go for that bath. It's watching the end of Eastenders before you start tidying up. 

It is more than just doing something for you though. It's about being kind to yourself. 


Grieving for the loss of your breastmilk  |  Blog

It always seems to be the way that the things we long for the most seem to be the things we see most often. When your trying to have a baby if feels like all you ever see walking down the street is pregnant people. When your suffering with a loss it feel like all you can see is other people happiness all around. It’s like the universe is constantly reminding you of what you can’t have.
Ever since I stopped breastfeeding 3 months ago I feel like all I see is breastfeeding mothers everywhere. Don't get me wrong...I am so proud that so many women have the confidence to feed in pubic around others and I honestly want to go and give them a high five as I know how hard it can be but I swear I didn’t see that many breastfeeding mothers when I was feeding. Everywhere I go it seems like I am in the minority when I get out a bottle for Smidge. I know that statistically that’s not true and I am not a minority anymore but I can’t help but feel like I am. It sometimes feels like everyone was able to continue their breastfeeding journey until they chose...just not me.


Sounds Right Phonics Classes | Review

Let me start this post by explaining that we were gifted out first half term of lessons in return for this review BUT we love the classes so much (for the reasons I will explain in a moment) that we have paid for the next term worth of lessons ourselves. So yes this post is an #ad but it is my honest opinion and if I didn't think that the classes were brilliant then I wouldn't have paid to go back. Now that is out of the way...let me introduce you to a class that has changed Pickle in such an amazing way! 

If you have read my blog for a while then you will know that I have always worried a little bit about Pickles speech. There was a time when he was about 2/3 years old that I actually tried to get speech therapy for him because I was so worried. It wasn't that he didn't god that boy can talk for was more that he wasn't pronouncing certain sounds properly and if you didn't know him then you couldn't really understand him. But, because health visitors and doctors told me that developmentally he was fine, I pushed it to the back of my mind.


2019... the year of less  |  Blog 

When I look back on 2018 it feels like it was the year of more. More pressure than I’d ever felt before. Pressure to be perfect and the best mother I could be. More comparison. I compared everything I did to everyone around me and that was not healthy! More spending. On 2018 we went on 2 holiday, loads of days out, brought loads of toot we don’t actually need... it was a bit ridiculous. More tears. I think I cried more in 2018 that I’ve ever cried before. Becoming a mother to two and the pressure I put on myself to be supermum was unreal and caused me a lot of upset and tears. 2018.. the year of more and not in a positive way!! 

That’s why I’ve decided that 2019 is going to be the year of less. 

Less waste... so using up all of our food rather than chucking it away. Selling on clothes and things rather than throwing away. Buying clothes (apart from underwear, socks and vests) second hand as it’s a waste to buy brand new. I saw on someone’s social media recently an article all about how much fabric goes to landfil. I am the WORST for throwing away clothes because I can’t be bothered to sell them on or take them to the charity shop. It even worse now we have Smidge because he’s growing at a crazy fast rate meaning new clothes all the time. I realised late last year that they don’t have to be new?!? I order a couple of bundles of clothes for him from eBay and they were amazing! So I’ve decided to do that more and for myself too. I want to reduce our footprint even if it’s only by a small amount as every little helps. 

Less spending... who doesn’t want to spend less?!? But after an expensive year with two holidays, a new baby, lots of days out and being very slack with how much we spend on the food shop, I want to tighten the purse strings this year to start saving again. We will still go on holiday and have days out but we will make smarter choices like shopping in Aldi rather than Tesco. The only reason I don’t is because Tesco delivers so its more convenient but it’s so much more expensive! Time to stop being lazy, organise myself and get my bum to the shops.

Less pressure... I’m going to put less pressure on myself to do everything. In 2018 I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. I saw the way that others coped with 2 children and how they were able to do arts and crafts whilst baking home made bread in their spotlessly clean and tidy house and I thought I should be doing that. Reality is that I CAN’T do that and that is okay. In 2019 I want to stop pressuring myself to be “perfect” and accept that perfectly imperfect parenting is okay 😊

Less weight! I want to loose some weight this year and it’s not because of how I look or because I want to “conform” to the fact that society says I have to loose weight in January. I want to go back onto the Microgynon pill and I’m not “allowed to” (hate that phase) unless I drop my BMI. That pills is so perfect for me and my hormones that I just desperate to get back on it. If loosing some weight is what it takes then that’s what I’ll do. And anyway... even if I did want to loose weight to feel better about myself then I don’t think that’s a bad thing. There has been a lot on social media recently about deleting diet accounts and unfollowing those who promote dieting but I don’t understand why?!? If people are doing it in the right way and because they want to then what’s the problem?? 

I just want 2019 to be the year of less! Less rushing around, less stress, less complication, less wishing the time away. I want to enjoy as much of this year as I can and keep it as simple as possible. I think these are all achievable goals which won’t require me changing my whole life. They are simple but should have a big impact. 

What do you want from 2019?