Recently there has been a lot of talk among my friends and in the blog and Twitter sphere about returning to work (if you haven't seen already, Al from the dads network's wife write a beautiful guest post over on his blog a few days ago..take a read here) and it got me thinking. The opinion that all of these lovely women shared was that they were devastated to be going back. One of my friends said how she burst into tears when she finally got to pick up her little cherub and another was saying how even the thought of going back to work soon filled her with dread and sadness. I wrote about how I felt about becoming a working mum but this was different. I just had this question running round and round my head... am I normal?
I've been back at work now for almost 1 month now and before I went back I was fine. I wasn't worried about bubs, wasn't upset about leaving him and didn't shed a single tear! I am now left wondering why didn't I feel like everyone else did? Don't get me wrong, I knew that I would miss bubba and I do miss him when I'm at work but I focused on the positives. I was really looking forward to going to being Ami for a couple of days a week and having conversations with people that didn't involve poop or weaning. I was excited about the thought of being able to drink a hot cup of coffee and eat my lunch without little hands trying to steal it away. Writing it down in black and white, it almost sounds selfish saying these things because I love those little hands that steal my sandwich and I would give up a hot coffee for a bubba snuggle any day of the week. It may be selfish, I don't know. Suppose it's down to personal opinion.
But now, after being back and settling into our new routine I honestly believe that I am a better Mum to bubba for going back I work (not saying that I am better than a stay at home mums or any other mum but I'm talking about me personally) as I appreciate the time I spend with Bubba so much more now and really do relish in every single moment we share. And I think, to answer my own question.. No, it may not be normal that I didn't get upset over going back to work but do you know what? That's what happened and that's how it goes. I think I had really just drummed it into my head that I was going back and that was that so there was no point crying over it as what was that going to do?
So for now, I will just live with the fact that I don't feel normal for not getting upset and will continue to offer support to solo u lovely mummies out there that are feeling wobbly about going back to work :) you can do it and your Bubba will love you no less for it.