Don't judge me..

Why do people think that it's okay to comment on your parenting techniques and choices? Not people like your mum or friends but random people.. It drives me bonkers!

The other day I was speaking with a lady about my son (my favourite subject) and she asked me if I'd had my lunch yet. I said no and then this is how the conversation went..
Lady: oh well you should eat soon as you have to keep your strength up as a mummy.
Me: I'll be fine. He's such a good boy generally so doesn't cause me many problems.
Lady: yes but when your breast feeding you have to make sure you eat regularly to keep your supply up.
Me:oh no, I don't breast feed. Never have. My son is nearly one now so will be going onto cows milk soon too.
Well at that point the lady then slapped me (playfully) on the wrist and said
Lady: You naughty girl! I used to be a midwife you know and you should have breastfed.

I was in shock! I was shocked that a person that didn't know me from Adam had the audacity to scold me for not breastfeeding my son. I was so shocked that I couldn't even argue back. I just very politely finished the conversation and wished her a nice day and off she went without a second thought about how that comment had made me feel.

Who was she to judge my parenting preferences? She didn't know about how Bubba had been poorly when he was born and how I spent the first couple of days of his life in tears and feeling helpless than my poor baby had to go through so much. She wasn't there when I was desperately tying to get him to latch on when he was born but just couldn't do it. She didn't know how I had felt when we made the decision to bottle feed and how torn I had felt between carrying on trying and just giving my son the milk he was so vocally demanding.

I will always stand by my decision to bottle feed and have never once regretted what we did as it the long run it was without a doubt the best decision for all three of us and it didn't do him any damage at all. What I do hate though it the judgment of strangers and plead to everyone out there to never judge another parent on the way they raise their children until you know them and their situation. Every child and parent is different and being judged by a totally stranger is not helpful at all!!! I'm just glad I didn't start talking about he fact that we weaned bubbas at 4 months, then the poop would have really hit the fan!! :)

Have you ever been judged by a stranger? Or have you ever been the one doing the judging?
Would love to know your thoughts :)

This post is linked with:
Modern Dad Pages


  1. What a cheek! People are very odd about breastfeeding - I managed it for 10 weeks but couldn't produce enough milk so onto formula we went. Both my kids survived the 'ordeal'. I just let other people's nonsense wash over my head to be honest.

  2. I actually think the judgement of parenting seems to be really bad in the UK. I don't know why people think they have the right to tell you how to parent or be a certain way with a child. IT really irritates me! x

  3. Oh god. ..I wrote something a while back called 'your baby, your choice ' about exactly this.

  4. I have had my fair share of people interject on how i should be parenting... I hate it each and every time! You are right that no one knows why you did something or why you are doing it as a parent and really it's none of their business! Great rant for #effitfriday :) Thank you for linking :)

  5. I went through the same thing when I breastfed both of my boys. I nursed my oldest for two months but those two months I was in agony because I just couldn't keep up with his appetite. When I finally decided to stop and transition him to formula, it was a big deal to me because of the bond I had with him and thinking I was going to lose that bond. Others made that worse for me with their comments like, "oh, you have enough. your body makes what the baby needs" Things like. When I nursed my second son, I had to stop after only a month because it was discovered that he was lactose intolerant (until he was 18 months old). You do what you feel is right for you and you child. In situations like these, people really need to learn to mind their own business. Thanks for sharing with #effitfriday

  6. Ouch! What a hurtful comment! If it's any consolation, I once got told off by a random stranger on the tube for giving my baby Diet Coke. I had done nothing of the sort and was merely holding a can (which was for my own consumption). It's ridiculous how people think they have a right to comment all the time as though they were the Parenting Police.

  7. It's the never-ending topic in parenting isn't it? Honestly, there are no words to describe how wound up I would get by random people trying to tell me what to do but I developed a steely glare! Nobody has the right to slap you on your wrist for bloody anything!!! But funnily enough, midwives are amongst the judgiest bossiest people I've ever met. Poor you. Thanks for linking on #effitfriday