30.1.18

Waiting for our luck to run out... | Blog

Maybe I am a bit hormonal today or maybe I am just having a bad day but ever since we fell pregnant I have had tiny little voice in the back of my head asking a question that I just can't shake..

''When will our luck run out?''

I consider myself very lucky. Hubby and I fell pregnant with Pickle within 3 months of trying. I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy, beautiful little boy. When we decided to see if number 2 wanted to come along I fell pregnant within the first month of us trying. So far this pregnancy has been pretty straight forward. I have never experienced the heartbreak of a miscarriage or the pain that comes with desperately trying to have a baby. Yet the NHS say that 1 in 6 pregnancies end in miscarriage and 25% of couple struggle with their fertility. I have seen first hand the pain that comes with miscarriages, still births, birth defects and illnesses. I am lucky to have never have had to face these types of life changing things BUT I can't help but wonder when and if our lucky will run out?



I am sure that every mother to be worries about things. From the usual things like being able to survive on maternity pay to the things that are very unlikely to happen like still birth or birth defects BUT  we still worry. Every scan we go to I wonder if our luck will run out. Will they find a problem? Will there be a problem? Even once the scans are done and we are told everything is okay I worry that our luck could still run out. Will I be able to keep this little one in until he or she is ready? Will I be lucky enough to have a health baby in July that I will bring home and get to love and raise? Will our luck finally run out?

To some this may seem like madness, maybe even a bit depressive and like I have a mental issue but it isn't. I spoke to Hubby about this and he even admitted that he has that same question pop into his head every now and again. I also know that this is what most pregnant women worry about and we all seem to have the same unanimous way of dealing with it. You just have to push that little voice to the back of your mind. One day your luck may run out but is worrying about it going to change it? No, so you can't think about the what ifs, as hard as it can be.

So for now, I hope we carry on waiting for our luck to run out for a very long time to come.

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