24.6.19

Helping Your Children Through Times Of Upheaval | Collaboration

No matter who you are or what kind of life you happen to live, there are always going to be times when
things are a little up in the air. This can happen due to a number of reasons, and it is not always clear
what actually led to any specific set of conditions or occurrences happening. Whatever they might be,
you will at all times find that it is hugely important to be able to help your children through such tough
times, and that is actually a kind of skill which any parent can learn easily enough. In this article, we
are going to take a look at some of the things you can do to help your children through times of
upheaval - so that they come out the other side not just unharmed, but maybe even stronger.


Communication


The most important thing of all is that you make the effort to communicate with your children, and that
you let them know that they can do the same with you. As long as they are fully and truly aware that t
hey are able to speak openly and honestly about whatever is bothering them, you know that there will
be an environment of openness which allows for a much better relationship between all members of
the family. This kind of setting mean that nobody should feel they have to hide their feelings away,
and that is a hugely important part of ensuring their ongoing growth. The best way to encourage
this kind of honesty and openness is to display it yourself, so that your family and particularly your
children know that it is safe to be that way. In most cases that will be all you really need to do to
encourage that in your children.


However, at times igt might be necessary to bring the necessary information out of your children,
especially when it seems that they are particularly worrying about something. That can mean that
you have to get down on their level and try to get it out of them, which can be very difficult indeed
but which you will find that you can probably make happen before too long. As long as you can get
your children to communicate with you, that is the most important step along the road to healing,
so this is absolutely something that you will want to focus on as best as you can.


Focus On Security


If the underlying cause of their pain is that there is some kind of problem in the family, then you need
to make it clear to them that they are able to feel safe and secure, and that the family unit is going to
be okay as a whole. In the very worst circumstances, it might be that there is an imminent divorce,
and your children have picked up on that. If that is what’s happening in your family, then what your
children need most of all is to feel that the family is secure in some way. Of course, that can be a
hard thing to be certain of, and certainly to encourage in your children, when you are going through
a divorce yourself. The main thing to consider is that you are at least making the break-up as
clear-cut as possible, without any kind of messiness. That means having the right legal minds on the
case, for one thing, as Family Law solicitors, Bannister Preston and the like will be able to make sure
that any divorce case is going to be considerably cleaner. But it also means talking to your children
and making it clear that this is just one of those things.


In particular, you might find that your child is desperate to know that they are not at fault. This is so
common that sounds cliche, but it’s true that a lot of children assume they are the problem. You need
to therefore state in no uncertain terms that this is not what it is. The more secure you make the home
and the family feel throughout this time of particularly volatile emotions, the stronger your children
will be in the long run, and the more faith they will have in you as a parent as well.


Express Love


If there is anything that children are looking for when things seem to be up in the air, it is some kind of
grounding, some basis for carrying on psychologically. In all cases, what they really need is love,
specifically the love of their parents, and that is the main thing that you should be aiming to give them.
The good news there, of course, is that you can always hope to be able to
express love to your children, and however you do it, you will find that this is often enough to help
them get through the difficult times and see beyond them much more clearly. If you are keen to make
sure that you are expressing enough love, one of the basic ways to do so is to think about whether
you are spending enough time with them. It might be that, during the time of upheaval, you have
forgotten to do this - so returning to them and spending more time with them in the family home could
be all you need to do to make things a lot better for them in no time.

Look To The Future

Finally, help your children past the current circumstances by helping them see the future more clearly. Whatever is currently going on will pass in time, and when it does things are probably going to look a lot better, so that is something that you might want to express to your children if they are particularly struggling. This is actually one of life’s greatest lessons, and learning it young will help to foster in your children a sense that they really can get through anything with the right mindset and approach. It’s important that you help them always look ahead to the future, and not dwell too much on the pain of the here and now.

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