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Trying to see through the haze  | Blog 

Tired but sleeping. 
Hungry but not wanting to eat.
So in love with my baby but so overwhelmed by him at the same time.
Kissing and cuddling my baby but then an hour later not knowing how to comfort him and stop him crying.
Having a baby that is crying so much that you forget what quite sounds like and hearing it sounds alien.
Feeling so many emotions that you don’t know how to process them all...
Short tempered.
So so so in love.
The past couple of weeks have been so tough. Smidge has been going through some kind of developmental leap along side the 4 month sleep regression and teething and it has almost broken me. It has been a haze of tears (from me and Smidge), sleeplessness, exhaustion, refusal to drink milk, worrying, mummy guilt and desperation to find anything to settle our usual calm and chilled out baby. We’ve tired gripe water, massage, teething granules, different teats, calpol... nothing seemed to work. All that has seemed to work is time...just riding the storm and waiting for things to die down.

Seeing through the haze has been almost impossibly hard. People keep saying “it will get better soon” and “it’s just a phase, don’t let it get to you” but they don’t seem to understand that it isn’t that easy. During those moments where Smidge was screaming, unsettled and refusing to drink any milk even though I knew he was hungry, I just couldn’t see it ever getting better. It felt like those moments were going to last forever and I would always feel as helpless and useless as I did at those times. I couldn’t see it getting better and I couldn’t stop it getting to me. I feel like I cried at least 4 times a day, every day last week. I lost my appetite, wasn’t sleeping right and just felt like I was the worst mother in the world for not knowing how to comfort her child. It felt even worse because this was my second baby! I had done this once already... why was I finding it so hard??
Time is making things better. Smidge seems to have got over the “leap” and is slowly going back to his old self but I still have these feelings creep in every now and again. Someone told me that talking about the way I feel and recognising that it wasn’t normal for me is the first step to feeling better. I’m going to keep an eye on things and if I’m not feeling back to normal (whatever normal is) in another week I’m going to have a chat with my health visitor because I didn’t realised that post natal depress could hit at any time. I thought that once you were out of those newborn days then you were clear but that’s not the case. These past 2 weeks have been harder than any of the newborn days and I can really understand how it could trigger some type of PND but for now I think the way I am feeling reflects just how hard I’ve found the last couple of weeks but I’m aware that it could be more.
But to anyone out there who can’t see through the haze I’m not going to say it will get better soon and to just keep on going as I know that doesn’t help. What I will say is know that you aren’t on your own. I know how you feel. I am in that haze and haven’t been able to see through it. As dark and lonely as it may seem now, remember you are not on your own. Message me on here, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter... anywhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s babbling and doesn’t make sense. Just talk to me or someone you trust because then they can hold your hand and show you that you aren’t alone in how you feel and with help you can try to find a way through this.


Disneyland Paris Dos & Don’ts  |  Blog

As you will know if you have looked at any of my social media or at my blog in the last couple of weeks, we recently headed to Disneyland Paris for a 4 night stay. We had an amazing time but that was only because of the prior knowledge we had. I follow a few Facebook pages all about Disneyland Paris which really helped me with a load of tips before we went. So I thought I’d share with you the Dos and Don’ts that I found most useful!

Do download Lineberty app - 
This app is being used more and more in the Disney Studios at the moment and I can imagine that it won’t be long until it’s used in the main Disney park too. This is basically an app that allows you to book a virtual ticket for different meet and greets meaning that you don’t have to spend hours queuing to meet your favourite characters. We used it to see Buzz, Woody, Mickey, the Incredible's


Hatchimal CollEGGtibles Series 3 | Review

Surprise eggs and blind bags seems to be all the rage at the moment and if your child is anything like mine then they will love them. I'm not sure if it is the element of surprise or the fact that there are so many to collect but Pickle loves them. His favourite are the little Hatchimal CollEGGtible eggs and we were lucky enough to be sent some of the brand new eggs from series 3 to review from Spinmaster. Needless to say, Pickle was in CollEGGtible heaven!

Now, if you don't know what CollEGGtibles are then let me explain. They are basically little eggs with a colour changing heart on the front. When you rub or cuddle the egg and make it warm the heart changes colour and the eggs goes soft so you can crack into in. Inside there are little collectible figures waiting to hatch.

The best thing about this range is that there is something to suit every budget. If you are looking for a great gift then you can buy the £25.00 12 pack egg carton or the 4 pack (plus a bonus surprise) for £9.99. If you were just looking for a little treat to reward good behaviour then you can get the blind bag which comes with one egg inside for around £3.00.

Pickle went straight for the egg carton as he knew that inside these eggs he had the chance to maybe find twins and he was over the moon when he hatched some!! All of the CollEGGtibles packs come with a leaflet explaining who each of the figures are and also who they are best friends with. Pickle love paired them up and find their friends.

Overall I think these are brilliant. They keep Pickle entertained for hours on end as once he has hatched them he then plays with them and makes up little stories for them. Thank you so much to SpinMaster for sending these through for us.

Note: these toys were sent to us for the urpose of this review but all opinion are honest and my own.


Essentials for doing Disneyland Paris With a Baby  |  Blog

We are frequent visitors to Disneyland Paris but our last visit was the first time we have been with a baby. Pickle was 2 years old the first time we took him but Smidge was only 3 months so it was a bit of a different experience than our previous trips. 

Taking a baby anywhere usually means you have to take a shed load of things but there were definitely some things that made our trip easier when it came to Smidge. So many people have got in contact with me since our trip asking me how we dealt with taking a baby to Disney so I thought I’d share my top tips with you so hopefully you can have a holiday as magical as ours was. 

1. Take a carrier 

Taking a decent baby carrier to Disneyland Paris is a MUST if you have a non walker. Smidge was able to go on a few rides but you have to leave the pram outside when you queue. Whilst we queued we would pop Smidge into the carrier which then meant he would either have a look around or (more often than not) he’d fall asleep. Sometimes the queues can be quite long so make sure you take a decent carrier that you are comfortable wearing. We have the Baby Bjorn Mini Carrier (which we reviewed here) and it was perfect. It is super soft but yet give support for you and baby. The carrier also came in handy when Pickle was really tired as we could pop Smidge in the carrier and then let Pickle lay in the pram for a bit. 

2. A Milton mini steriliser 

This little steriliser ball was a God send during our trip and a must have for anyone whose baby has a dummy. We would take 2 dummies with us every day but because Smidge was in and out of the pram and carrier he kept dropping his dummies. With the mini steriliser all you do is pop the dummy in, twist it around to clean off anything and then leave it for 15 minutes. Then you have a completely sterile dummy ready to use. It is amazing and I would really recommend buying one if you’re thinking of going away. 

3. A decent changing bag 

We had so much stuff that we needed to take our everyday that a decent changing bag was a essential. The weather in September in Paris can be all over the place so not only did I have to take the normal nappies, wipes and spare clothes, I also packed waterproof ponchos, sun cream, hats... it was a bit silly really but we needed it all! We used our Storksak bag for carrying everything and it was perfect. It has space for bottles, separate compartments for different things and a super handy changing mat with spaces for wipes and nappies. The best thing about this bag is that not only does it come with straps to hang the bag off of a pram, it can also be worn as a cross body bag or as a rucksack thanks to the adjustable straps. It’s the perfect Disney bag! 

4. A Buggy Lock 

Unfortunately it has been known for people to have buggies and prams stolen in Disneyland Paris. When you go onto a ride you have to leave your pram in the buggy park meaning (in theory) that anyone could walk off with it. I haven’t seen this happen or experienced it but I have seen a lot about it online. Because of this we brought an inexpensive bike lock and used that the chain the pram to the railings to avoid the chance of anyone pinching our pram. Some may think it’s a bit much but we would have been well and truly up the creek if someone stole our pram whilst we were away so I would rather not take the chance. 

5. Extra wipes and nappies 

This one is soooooo important! If you wanted to buy wipes in Disneyland Paris it would set you back €8.99 and even worse, nappies in Disneyland would set you back an eyewatering €24.99!!!! I don’t know about you but I would feel a little sick paying those prices for something I can get from the UK for under £3 generally. So make sure you pack enough wipes and nappies. We took a brand new 50 pack of nappies and 6 packets of wipes. Now remember that the wipes were not only being used for bum changes but also for cleaning a sticky child, we used 4 packets of wipes and over half the packet of nappies. It doesn’t matter if you bring some home and it will save you A LOT of money as you won’t have to buy any whilst you’re there. 

So there you have it. My essentials for doing Disney with a baby. I hope it’s helped and if you are going with a baby of any age have a magical time!