What Mum's say VS what Mum's really mean

What Mum's say:                 To your husband ''Ahh...he's calling for Daddy''
What Mum's mean:              Why don't you get up off your butt, go upstairs and put his dummy back                                                 in you lazy git!

What Mum's say:                 ''Let's go see Nanny''
What Mum's mean:              I need a break! At Nanny's you can run around, get spoilt and I can                                                        have a hot cup of tea. 

What Mum's say:                 ''Of course I will read the little red fire engine to you..''
What Mum's mean:              Of course I will read all about that bloody little red fire engine for the                                                   umpteenth time today! Maybe the little red fire engine will be taking a 
                                                trip to the dump soon...hmmmm..... 

What Mum's say:                 ''I'm just popping to the loo''
What Mum's mean:              I'm just going to sit in the loo for 10 minutes to scroll through                                                                Facebook and Instagram and to get a tiny bit of peace top get my sanity                                                back!

What Mum's say:                ''You really shouldn't be doing that...''
What Mum's mean:             But I am going to let you do it anyway if it keep you happy for 5 seconds

What Mum's say:                ''I think he's teething''
What Mum's mean:             I don't really think he's teething..he's just being a grot bag and having a                                                  melt down for no apparent reason.

What Mum's say:               To husband ''What time do you think you'll be home from work?''
What Mum's mean:            When will you be back so we can tag team this pint sized demon as I am                                               failing on my own right now!

What Mum's say:               To husband ''Of course I don't mind you popping out with the boys for an                                               hour''
What Mum's mean:           Of course I don't mind you ''popping'' out AGAIN for an hour  4 hours 
                                             with the boys whilst I stay home AGAIN and think about the fact that I 
                                             haven't had a baby free outing in almost 5 months. 

What Mum's say:               Whilst feeding toddler dinner ''Open wide..it's the last one''
What Mum's mean:            Who are we kidding? It's been the last one for the past 6 mouthful but 
                                             your eating it so I don't really care! I am just going to sit her and feel 
                                             feel pretty damn smug with myself :)

What Mum's say:              ''Night Night...I love you''
What Mum's mean:            You may have run me ragged today, you may have made the house look 
                                             like a bomb has hit it and you may have made me doubt my skills as a 
                                             mother at least 5 times today but you are the light of my life. You fill my 
                                             heart with love and my life with happiness and joy. Sleep well..I love you
                                            and lets do this all again tomorrow :)

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