Lets Talk About The S Word | Blog

Today I am going to talk about something I haven't really spoken about on here before...SEX.. (sorry mum!!!)
Recently, I had a discussion with a friend who has just had a baby that went a little something like this:

Friend: I need to ask you a question...
Me:      Okay....
Friend: It's a little bit personal and I hope you don't mind and don't feel that you have to answer...
Me:      Okay....
Friend: After you gave birth how did you get back to things in the bedroom?
Me:      Ermmmmm...

I was stunned into silence. This wasn't because my friend had asked me, far from it as I am very encouraging of my friends to talk to me about whatever they want but stunned because I remember 'that' night like it was yesterday.

The first time we tried to be intimate (god I sound so old!!) after having Bubba was when he was about 3 weeks old. I remember a few of my friends at the time talking about the fact that they had been back at it with their hubbys within a week or so of having their babies so I felt a little worried about why we hadn't wanted to sooner. I remember thinking to myself that I really wanted to make an effort and feel sexy but it just didn't happen! It wasn't because of Hubby or anything like that it was just because I had put up so many barriers in my head as to why I didn't want to. I felt unsexy, unconfident, frumpy, uncomfortable and just couldn't get in the mood. It turned out that Hubby felt that way too and needless to say that the most that happened that night was a snuggle whilst we both felt stupid about not being able to get in the mood.

When I explained this to my friend it got me thinking about ways to make that first time after having a baby easier and more comfortable and I wanted to share on here for any of you mummas (or indeed Daddys) who need a little bit of support :)

1. Communicate!!! I can't stress how important this part is!! If you don't speak to each other then the man could be left wondering why the woman isn't in the mood and on the flip side the woman could be worried about why the man can't get in the mood as well. It could cause friction so I would really recommend talking to each other about what is happening. It might be embarrassing but you have just given birth and your man was most probably there to see it so there shouldn't be much to be embarrassed about anymore :)

2. Don't be scared to think about getting some help. You could always go straight in and think about getting Hubby to buy Viagra which will help if he is having any problems but if you want to try some home remedies first then you could think about aphrodisiacs like asparagus or oysters. I don't know if they work but it could be worth a try :)

3. Something really simple you can do is to set the mood. This is hard when you have a new born but it could be something as just lighting a few candles, popping on some music and popping baby into the next room (with a monitor obviously) so you and your mister can have an hour of alone time to give each other some quality time.

4. If it doesn't happen then just remember that it doesn't matter. Don't put pressure on yourselves to get down to it. If your not ready then that's fine. Just make sure you give each other lots of cuddles and kisses and affection to let each other know you still find the other attractive.

So there are my tips for you! Have you got anything you would add to the list?
Let me know in the comments

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