Where has my voice gone?? | Blog

Recently I have lost my voice. I don't mean my actual voice.. god no! I was still able to sing a bit of Agadoo at a birthday party recently so my vocal voice is fine. What I'm talking about is my "voice". The one which I speak to you with on this blog. I seem to have lost it and am struggling to find it again! 
My little blog has always been something of an outlet for me to write about whatever I want. From talking about loosing loved ones to breastfeeding, My Mummy Spam has been my space for me to let my "voice" run free and say all it wants to say. Recently that voice seems to have become mute and I seem to have nothing to say so therefore nothing to write and I have hated it. 

quite, speaking, not speaking, hand over mouth, shut up, shush, not talking, mute, no voice

This time last year I had plans. I had blog posts planned, I had social media stuff scheduled, I had brands lined up to work with and most of all I had this passionate voice dying to get out. I would write every Thursday and Friday whilst bubba was napping and in the evening sometimes when the mood struck me. I was making YouTube content and was LOVING doing it all. Since about mid December though it has felt like turning on the laptop is a chore. I haven't had anything that I have been dying to write about and I feel like I've been desperately clawing through my brain for something to write about. I've always said I don't want to write for the sake of writing and I have never really had to but recently I have been tempted to just so my little blog doesn't fade away. 

I don't think it's any specific thing that has caused it either. I have been a lot busier in my personal life, which is lovely, and normally I would write about it and share it but I just haven't had the drive to. Part of me is wondering if the reason I am feeling like this is because of how saturated the parent blogger market seems to have become recently OR even how much it is changing of late. Facebook blogs and Instagram pages that have blogs written on them seem to be becoming so much more popular than traditional blogs and I always find myself comparing my blog to their witty, quirky, Instagram perfect pages and berating myself which is crazy because that is not what I started my blog for. 

Another part of me wonders if my voice has gone because my blog is getting older. I find myself wanting to write about something and then remember that I've written about it before so won't write about it again! I also don't know if maybe it's because of bubbas age. I started his blog when he was a weanie 5 month old and he's now a crazy 2 year old toddler. He is so much more predictable and stable than when he was a baby and I have also had 2 years worth of mother experience now so things are easier which means I find less to write about. 

Maybe this post sounds like a pity party for one (woot woot!!) but that's not what it is. This is my encouragement to find my voice again. Let it out and let it run wild over the pages of this blog and do you know what? I think it's worked :) Speak very soon!!

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