Why am I not pregnant... | Blog

Everyone is pregnant...at least that is what it feels like at the moment! Well I suppose not everyone but it seems like everyone who has children that are round pickles age is having their second. My friends, family members, other bloggers and personalities like Kate Bow Bow and Hannah Mikalac. They all had 2/3 year olds and are now pregnant with their second child. I'm not pregnant and I'm okay with that but am I totally weird for feeling like this??

Pickle is the most wonderful little boy in the world. He is funny, clever, cheeky, loving and would make the perfect big brother but I feel like we have just got our lives back on track after having him and I don't want to throw that all away. We've settled into a lovely little routine, pickle is getting more and more involved in different activities, hubby and I have joined a gym, we've signed up to run a half marathon (yeah...I don't know how I am going to do it either!!) and we have a family holiday booked. Life is pretty wonderful at the moment and I don't want to throw a tiny baby into the mix who will inevitably turn all of our life's upside down.

Think I am selfish? Well maybe I am but I am so excited about what this year holds for me and my little family and that doesn't include a new baby. I can't wait to take pickle on a sunny beach holiday in June. He's going to love being able to play in the pools and I want to be in tip top condition to enjoy it with him, not spending my whole time throwing up with morning sickness or being a moody bitch with hormones. We are running the half marathon in July, something that is a personal goal of mine that I want to achieve and there is no way I would be able to do this if I was pregnant. I tell myself all of this and feel so justified in my decision that now isn't the right time to have another baby but then I see everyone around me falling pregnant and it makes me wonder if I am wrong.

Should I want another baby now?
Should I want to make pickle a big brother whilst he's little so the 2 of them can grow up together?
Am I being selfish by not wanting another one so that I can do things and spend time with pickle on his own?
Why don't I instinctively want another baby?
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I an awful mother?

All questions that I have been asking myself recently and if I am being honest I don't really have an answer. For now I know I don't want another baby yet. Maybe after the summer I will think about it but not yet. Call me selfish, say I am a bad mother...I don't really care. It's my family and my body so I will do what I think is right. I just wanted to know if anyone else out there has ever felt this pressure to have a baby? It can't just be me surely???

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