Have I got too fat during this pregnancy... | Pregnancy

It's a Sunday evening as I write this and we have just had the most wonderful family weekend together. Snow days, trips to London and family naps on the sofa. It has been blissful but as I write this at the end of a wonderful few days with my family, I am in tears. I am crying over something that some will think is such an over reaction and something so stupid to be upset about but for me it is such a huge thing. This evening I made the huge mistake of weighing myself and working out how much weight I have put on during my 23 weeks of pregnancy. I have put on 8.8kg. This to some may seem like nothing and so many of you out there are probably questioning why I am upset as I am growing a baby so shouldn't be worrying about my weight and you're right I SHOULDN'T be worrying about my weight but I am. I am and I have been ever since I had my 8 week booking appointment because it was at that appointment that I was told that because my BMI was 0.5 over where is deemed 'healthy' I would be referred to the 'Lifestyle Clinic' and I would be monitored by them for my whole pregnancy. 0.5 of a point has deemed me as unhealthy and means I have to go along to a special appointment once every few weeks to talk about healthy eating, exercise and how to manage my weight whilst I am pregnant. 

Now I understand why the NHS offer this service and I can imagine that for some people it is really helpful and they find the service a wonderful thing but for me all it brings is undue stress and guilt. 

During this pregnancy I have been SO much more active than I was when I was pregnant with Pickle and I have felt so much better for it. When I was pregnant last I suffered with horrendous SPD and was signed off work from 25 weeks pregnant. This time round I am currently 23 week and haven't had any sign of SPD. I am still going to Zumba and going swimming once a week. Our David Lloyd membership has been a god send and the perfect place for us to not only keep fit but for us to spend time as a family together. Not only have I been going to the gym but I’ve going out on walks with Pickle and generally running around after him. So why am I feeling like the worst person in the world for the weight I have put on?!?! This is why I am so upset. I feel like I have been doing everything I can but I know that when I go to my next 'lifestyle' appointment I will almost get a telling off and will have to listen to someone telling me about all of the things I already know and am doing. 

I also feel a little bit like 'woe is me' as well. I have been speaking to lot of people I know and they have put off 2,3 or even 4 stone during their pregnancies yet they have been left alone and haven't been made to feel like a bad person. If only I had started my pregnancy 0.5 of a point lower on my BMI then I wouldn't be sitting here crying and feeling like a huge fat whale who is hurting her unborn baby by putting on 8kg. All of this because of my BMI when I fell pregnant. If I was within the normal range (0.5 lower) then the NHS guidelines state that I could put on upto 12.5kg without anyone batting an eye lid! How ridiculous is that?!?!?!? BMI is such a huge pile of rubbish anyway as even when I was a skinny little size 12 when I was 16 I still had a high BMI because I danced so therefore had huge leg muscles, also don't think the fact that I have always had massive boobs has helped either.  

There isn't really much point in this post apart from somewhere for me to vent my upset, anger, guilt, whatever it is I am actually feeling about all of this. All that is left for me to do now is to worry about how much weight I am going to put on for the rest of this pregnancy and feel like the worst person in the world for doing so. 


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