Why I’m more scared of giving birth second time round | Blog

Ignorance is bliss


For me that was definitely the case when it came to giving birth! When I was pregnant with Pickle I had been to all the antenatal classes, read books, looked at apps, even watched some videos on YouTube all about birth. I thought I was prepared and ready to give birth. Turns out I was wrong!
The birth that I had planned for with Pickle (and I use the term 'planned' very loosely as I was very open minded about everything and was happy to consider all options when going into hospital) was thrown up in the air when I was told I was being induced at 37 weeks. It turned out to be a long processed that wasn’t painful but was just a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I ended up with an epidural and being threatened with having to have a c-section but it all worked out for the best in the end and got our little man here safely via a vaginal birth. I remember being in the hospital and my Mum saying that she couldn’t believe how calm I was being about everything but I think that was because I had no preconceptions or ideas of what could or couldn’t happen. This time round though, it feels like the total opposite!

Our second little man is due in about 3 months time and I am so nervous about labour and giving birth. I know I can do it but I feel so much more aware of the whole process and everything that may happen. Since having Pickle and starting this blog I have been introduced to a whole new world of people... Mother’s. Mother’s who all have their own story to tell and their own experiences to share and as much as I love hearing about their journeys, I feel that knowledge has scared me slightly. When I had Pickle I had no clue about the damage tearing could do. I have never heard of anyone who had experienced a still birth. I had never seen the pain that a family goes through when a baby is born too early or is poorly. Ignorance was most certainly bliss and now that I am aware of so many different things that can happen during child birth it makes me feel more scared about it than I did first time round.

I also feel like I haven’t actually given birth, as strange as that sounds. I had an epidural so didn’t experience the pain of later labour contractions and I didn’t feel that “ring of fire” I hear people speak about so often. What if there isn’t time for an epidural this time? Will I cope? Will I be strong enough to do it? I know I will but I can’t help but worry a little.

My worries have seriously been playing on my mind, so much so that in a couple of weekend Hubby and I are off the a weekend hypnobirthing course with the amazing Keri from local Leigh on Sea company “Do It Like a Mother”. I saw some bits from Keri on social media and I knew she would be the right person to help me straight away. She is such an advocate of 'knowledge is power' and how hypnobirthing can help in ALL types of birth. I loved that idea as when I was pregnant with Pickle the hypnobirthing book I read made me feel like I had to give birth naturally with no interventions and pain relief and I think we all know that sometimes that just can’t happen. Keri is a huge believer in empowerment and making women mentally strong enough to get through any birthing scenario and I am so excited to learn from her! I’ve already been listening to some relaxation tracks from her and they are amazing!

Towards the end of April I will be doing a full course review and hopefully a video explain how our 2 day course went and what we took from it. I am so excited about it!!!

So keep an eye out on the blog and also please let me know if you had second time round worries. It can’t just be me right? :)

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