To my soon to be eldest child... | Blog has 


For the last three years you have been my sole focus. Every cuddle, every kiss, every bit of maternal love was smothered onto you. In a few short weeks time there will be someone else that will share my heart and although they will share my love and many other things like my time and my attention, it doesn’t mean you will get any less. You will always be my little Pickle who came into the world and changed mine and your daddy’s life for the better. 

When you were born you showed us how deep love can really be. You showed us how we can be truly and utterly selfless and how ferociously protective we could be. As a baby, you gave me just as much light and love as I gave you. Your great grandfather had been diagnosed with cancer and I was a mess. When he passed away you were my comfort. When your other great grandfather passed away 4 short months after you were my comfort again and when we lost your great nanny 5 months after that it was you that was a shining light. You may have been less than a year old but you will never understand the light, love and hope your brought to not only my life but to all of your family. 

As you have grown from a squishy little bubba to a funny, caring, senstaive little boy I have needed you just as much. You have brought so much joy to mine and Daddy’s life and you make even the smallest and most regular of days an adventure. If I have ever had a bad day I know that you are there with a cuddle and something silly to say to cheer me up. I love this about you and I hope it never changes. 

Daddy and I decided to have another child for a number of reasons but one of which was you. You are such a chatty, caring and playful little boy that it felt unfair for you to grow up on your own. You are so caring when it comes to other children and especially those younger than you that we just knew that you would make an amazing big brother and so far you have proved us right. Even though you haven’t met your little brother yet, you love him so much. When he starts kicking in my belly you get so excited and the whole world has to stop so you can feel the kicks. You put your brother first already and always want to know if he is okay in my belly. Soon he will be here. A little tiny baby that we have to look after and raise and I know you will be the best. You already help me so much and half the time you don’t even know. Not once have you ever moaned or thrown a strop because I’ve asked you to do something to help or because I haven’t been able to do something with you. You have just got on with things and I am so grateful to you for making this pregnancy so easy on me. You have no idea how helpful and easy you have been in the last 8 months but it is once again just a display of how amazing you are.

So I hope your not scared. I hope your not nervous or worried. The baby coming will change things. Nights will be interrupted, our house will be louder and busier, I will have someone else that I will have to give my attention and love to but I need you to know that will not mean I will love you any less. You are my first born and the love I have for you will always be monumental. You taught me how to be a mother. When the baby comes along my heart will just get bigger rather than my love be shared. 

You are going to be the best big brother in the world and although at time it’s won’t be easy, know that I will always be here no matter how busy, tired or frazzled I look. My arms are always open and my kisses always ready to give. 

I love you always. 

Mummy xxxxxxxx

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