7.6.18

All it takes is one person... | Blog

Have you ever had an experience, be it good or bad, where it has been defined by one person? I think we have all experienced it at one point or other...it may be someone you met on holiday who made that trip especially memorable or it could be a teacher from your childhood who made school amazing or terrible. It’s only when we sit and think about it that we realise how it can sometimes only take one person to define an experience or a time in our lives. 

You may remember that I had recently had a whole bundle of problems with my antenatal care. There were tears, a huge complaint letter, anger, exhaustion...from weeks 26 until week 34, my pregnancy journey was not enjoyable or something that I would want to remember. I was surrounded by so much support from my family, friends and all of you lovely people who read this blog though and that support helped me to keep fighting to resolve the problems. The fight had been going on for weeks! I thought that none of it was going to be resolved until this little man popped out and had almost resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be ignored and left but thanks to one person, it has all changed. 



We all know how important your midwife can be and at the start of this pregnancy I was so excited to have a midwife who seemed so friendly and understanding. I started to build a relationship with her and felt like I really had someone on my side which was so different for me as when I had Pickle I didn’t gel with my midwife at all. Everything was going so great this time round though until she left and moved departments. I was gutted and was suddenly thrust into what felt like a constant battle to get the antenatal care I deserved. If you have read my previous post you’ll know I felt alone, abandoned and ignored. Finally, after weeks of fighting, I received a call to say I had been allocated a new midwife and she would be coming round to see me. 

Before she arrived I felt sick! Would she support my decisions to birth in water and possibly at home? Would she judge me for being the .5 over the BMI threshold like others had during this pregnancy? Would she give me the care and help that I was so desperately needing? 

I shouldn’t have worried because she has come into my pregnancy journey and changed the experience entirely! She was kind, she listened, she understood and she was everything that I had been hoping for since I was 26 weeks pregnant. She respected my choices and helped me to make sure I was making choices for the right reasons. She did the facilitating women’s choice form with me to get my home birth and or my water birth in the hospital. She understood and respected my reasons for wanting certain birth choices and NOT ONCE did she make me feel belittled or undervalued like so many had during this pregnancy. The only thing I wish is that I had met her sooner in my pregnancy as she has been amazing!

I can’t even begin to experess how grateful I am to her because she has proved to me once again that all it takes it one person! One person to listen and to help. One person to change an experience from a negative to a positive. It doesn’t even matter now if things went wrong during labour and I ended up with a birth that wasn’t what I had planned. What matters is that someone listened and make sure the I had the CHOICE to birth in the way I wanted. 

So to anyone out there reading this.. be mindful of your actions and your words. We are so flippant in this day and age with what we say and do. One person can make all the difference and I know that I always want to be the person who make an experience wonderful rather than taints it. 


19 comments:

  1. I am relieved to read this, I've been wondering how you were getting on. All the best! x

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  2. So glad to hear you're now getting good care. Not long now! :-)

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  3. Glad to hear you are getting good care. If nothing just think of the baby, it will give you enough courage to tackle any problem.

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  4. glad you're doing well. Yes it's always better to be the person who help create a positive experience for others.

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  5. glad you're doing well. Yes it's always better to be the person who help create a positive experience for others.

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  6. I am so pleased you found your one person and she made such a difference xx

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  7. That's brilliant you have someone that is making a difference. Not long to go now, good luck with it all x

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  8. Oh this is so wonderful to hear. I had the most lovely midwife when I was pregnant with my daughter and she really made such a positive impact on a my pregnancy

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  9. I'm so glad you have found someone so lovely. My midwife went above and beyond for me during my last pregnancy and I cannot thank her enough. x

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  10. So sorry to hear you had a bad time with the previous midwife but so happy to hear that the new one that was allocated to you was lovely! It really does make all the difference! x

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  11. I cannot believe you are this close to the end already! So glad you have a good midwife now, it really makes all the difference when you feel comfortable with them!!

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  12. I was worried at first thought ohh no please have a nice birth story makes all the difference when you have a midwife like yours ❤️

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  13. So glad to hear you're getting what you've deserved from day 1. Antenatal care is so important and it's about time they got it right for you.

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  14. The worst thing is building up a fab relationship with your MW and then they leave!!! Wow not long to go! The Willow Tree

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  15. Ah I’m so glad you’re getting the care you deserve beauty. It’s important for you as well as baby.

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  16. It's so important you get the right treatment! Xx

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  17. I have so much respect for midwives, they do an incredible job x

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  18. I never got the treatment that I not only wanted, but deserved. I never saw the same midwife twice. They were always rushing and understaffed (which I understand completley) but they made me feel 2mm small because I didn't understand anything. I was very new to babies. It was very patronising and getting my first scan at 19 weeks made me beyond anxious. I'm sorry you had a hard time too but found someone in the end that was the nurturing you deserved after your rocky ride!

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  19. So glad you are doing well, you deserve the best for you and bump! Not long now! xxx

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