To my 4 year old... |  Blog 

Dear Pickle, 
Today you turned 4 years old. It’s a birthday that you’ve been so excited about as to you, 4 means you're a big boy that gets to go to pre school. You’ve been asking to be 4 for so long now and you have been so excited about your birthday and your party. I have smiled and nodded and tried to share your excitement but inside I am so sad that my baby is growing up so quickly. 

It feels like only yesterday that you were born. That moment when you were placed onto my chest was life changing. You had made me a mother and I fell totally and uncompromisingly in love with you. I still remember the moment of sheer panic when you didn’t start crying and the pure fear I felt when doctors started rushing to the room to help you. Those few days in hospital were hell and I would have done anything to stop them from poking and prodding you. But you finally got to come home and we started our life together. 

In your first 3 years of life I saw you evolve from a tiny baby to a wonderful toddler. Those three years were filled with so many wonderful moments but I feel that this last year has been one that has defined you. Just after you turned three, Daddy and I turned your little world upside down and I won’t lie, I was very nervous as to how things would pan out. We were going to have a baby and you were going to be a big brother. 

During my pregnancy you were just amazing. You were so caring and protective of me. You loved to feel the baby moving around in my belly and you would tell anyone that would listen that you were going to have a baby. You made pregnancy so easy for me so thank you for that. There was one time in those 9 months when I was being sick. I was hunched over the toilet and you came into me and rubbed my back whilst saying “it’s okay mummy, I’ll get you a drink”. You came back a couple of moments later with your water cup and gave it to me. This is you all over. You are so caring and want to help anyone that you can. You may only been 3 (now 4) years old but you are wise and caring beyond your years. 

Finally after 9 long months your baby brother arrived and I have never know someone to be as excited as you were. You were staying at your Nanny’s whilst we were at the hospital and Daddy called you once Smidge was here. You shouted out at the top of your voice “my baby’s here... my baby’s here!!!”. That night you woke up at 3am and shouted to your nanny. She worried that something was wrong with you and came running. Nothing was wrong... all you wanted to do was to ask “can I go see my baby yet?”. You hadn’t even met your sibling but you were already the best big brother. 

As soon as you met Smidge you fell in love with him. It was like some invisible bond was made in that moment that will never be broken. You care for your brother so much. You help look after him, you sing to him, you play with him and even though he can’t tell you right now I know that you are his favorite person. You are so protective, gentle and caring towards your baby, as you call him, and if it’s possible, seeing you become a big brother has made me love you even more. 

You are crazy, funny, caring, considerate, sensitive, caring, confident and considerate. You make me proud every single day with the way you deal with anything life throws at you... 
Get a brother... you embrace it
Start pre school... you love it
Start swimming lessons... you can’t wait to go back

I am so proud of you my little Pickle and I am eternally grateful that I get to be your Mummy. You may be growing up at an alarmingly fast rate but you will always be my little Pickle. 

Wishing you the happiest of birthdays and here’s to another year filled with happiness, love and laughter. 

I love you always xxxxxxxxx

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