Don’t Thrive, Just Survive!! |  Blog 

When I fell pregnant with Pickle back in January 2014 I remember how my life changed. Before then, I’d only ever had to worry about myself but suddenly there was someone who was more important than me and my whole life revolved around this new life I created. I took all the vitamins I needed to, used all the lotions and creams on my bump, kept a pregnancy journal and made sure everything I did was with my bump in mind. Then he was born and I was flooded with all of the emotions... immense pride, an overwhelming love and a never ending urge to protect him. My world continued to revolve around my baby. I logged all his firsts in a book, had a phone full of photos and a nursery organised and fit to burst with clothes and nappies for each stage as he got bigger. My life was his and he was my life. I spent all my time making sure he was thriving and that I was thriving as a mother too.

Almost a year ago to the day I saw those lines on the pregnancy test again. We had been lucky enough to fall pregnant with baby number 2 and in my head I had visions of doing everything the same as I’d done before... the journals, the self care, the preparation. But it didn’t happen like that. The pregnancy sped past in a blur of family life. Instead of filling out a pregnancy journal, I was battling a 3 year old to eat his dinner. Instead of going to bed each night and using oils and reading stories to my bump, I was getting into bed and falling asleep instantly as I’d been awake since 5 that morning with Pickle. Instead of thriving in my pregnancy, my goal was to SURVIVE through my pregnancy!!

And that’s seems to have been a theme that has continued now that Smidge is here. I haven’t had time to browse the shops for ages planning his next seasons wardrobe... I forget to write down the date he first smiled in his book... I haven’t got the money to make sure we are stocked in nappies in all the sizes for the next god knows how long. Having 2 children means I just have to survive! Each day I do what it takes to make sure everyone to be fed, watered, clothed, entertained and feels loved. I don’t have time for taking ten billion photos of Smidge blowing a spit bubble because it looks cute. I’ll quickly snap one and then I’ll have to move on because Pickle needs picking up for school or Smidge is going to need a feed.

There is one thing that hasn’t changed and that will never change though and that is the emotions. Even though we may be surviving and not thriving I will never stop feeling the immense pride, the overwhelming love and a never ending urge to protect BOTH my boys until the day I die.
One day we will thrive again but for now we will just survive!

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