28.11.19

Jealousy... | Blog

I want to start this post by saying that this isn't a dig at my husband. He is the most hard working, caring and wonderful man that I could ask to spend my life with. He is a wonderful father and does everything he possibly can for me and our family. This post is just a bit of a mind dump about how I am feeling at the moment.

Jealous is one of the ugliest things a person can be in my opinion and recently I have been an ugly jealous monster and not for the traditional reasons. Most women get jealous thinking about their partner or husband being with another woman or flirting or something along those line. I can honestly say that I have never worried or been jealous about that when it comes to hubby. I am jealous of him and the way he is able to live his life...let me try to explain...



Just say I want to go out for the night. I want to go for dinner with my friends for a couple of hours. Nothing heavy, just a few hours out of the house socialising with some friends. The first thing I have to think about is if hubby will be home from work in time to look after the boys. If he isn't, I'll then have to try and arrange childcare and if I can't get any one to look after the boys then that's the end of that. If hubby is going to be back in time or if I manage to get some one to look after the boys then you'd think that would be everything right? WRONG!! I'll have to make sure that PJ's are ready, lunches and bags are packed for the next day, the house is clean and tidy, the clothes for tomorrow are washed, dried and ironed, the dog is fed, dinners are ready, bedrooms are sorted... the list is never ending. Compare this to when Hubby wants to do anything. He always asked if there is anything going on or if he is free to go out but as long as that's okay then he just goes. He doesn't have to worry about anything other than himself and what he is off to do.

Does he tell me I have to do everything before I go anywhere? No. Is it my job to do all of these things? No. But do I feel like it's my responsibility because I am the person who is usually home and the one who usually looks after the kids? YES! Be it right or wrong, I feel like as a Mum and a woman the house and the children are my main responsibility. Hubby works full time and he works long hours so why should I expect him to do the main share of house work? Maybe my views and my ideas are outdated. I don't know. But I do know that it's why I do get jealous of Hubby and his way of life. Am I jealous of the working long hours and full time thing? Nope...but I am of his flexibility and lack of responsibility when it comes to being able to go out.

I guess what I am trying to say in this post is that if you feel like this sometimes then you aren't on your own. I don't think it's a feeling that will ever go away as I will always be the person who is trying to make sure that the kids are sorted and the house is straight and organised. I think if hubby tried to do it I'd be worried what was wrong with him. All I would say though is that if you do feel like this then talk to your partner. It will make you feel better and might help them to understand the way you're feeling.

2 comments:

  1. Your not on your own hunni. Only our "children" are the dogs. My husband is a diamond but i totally get jealous that if he goes out its down to me. .... If we are going out down to me & yep I going out down to me ! Xx

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    Replies
    1. It's so hard isn't it as it's not their fault but you can't help but feel some resentment towards them xx

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