Turning 32... | Blog

In less than a weeks’ time I will be turning 32 years old…32 years on this earth and if I am being honest, I think the last year has been the one where I have done the most self-discovery. In March 2020 I turned 31 years old just as the world around me started to change forever. I remember on my actual birthday watching one of the first COVID briefings and I am fairly sure there is also an Instagram story that I made where I say that I’ve got my loo roll and my long-life milk so we will just have a cup of tea and wait for this all to blow over… how very wrong I was!!

2020 was a hard year. We missed out on birthdays, weddings, celebrations, family holidays, hugging friends and family and so much more. So many people lost their lives to this awful illness and so many had their lives changed forever due to illness, loosing work, or losing loved ones. As hard as it has been for many, I can’t help but feel grateful for what this last year did for me personally. As difficult as it was being a ‘key worker’ and feeling constantly anxious about cleaning and keeping everyone safe, I can’t help but be thankful for what 2020 brought to me and my family.

During my 31st year we spent more time together as a family than ever before. COVID meant that my hours at work decreased slightly which meant I was home to cook dinner more often and got to leave later in the mornings. The restricts also meant that hubs went from being away for at least 1 or 2 nights per week before COVID to suddenly working from home pretty much 24/7. I can’t remember a time where hubby and I used to spend so much time together and it has done wonders for us as a family. When Pickle was growing up it was normal for him to be getting ready to go to bed when Daddy came in from work. Now, with Smidge, if daddy isn’t home when we get in from work/my mums (she is a childminder) because he’s gone out for a run, Smidge is completely outraged! Don’t get me wrong, sometimes the kids are arguing, and hubs is getting on my nerves and all I want is a break away from the house but overall, it’s been amazing to have this extra time with them all.

It isn’t just things around me that feel different as I head into my 32nd year. I feel like there has been a shift within me which has probably come about from having more time to focus and think about myself as the world slowed down rather than constantly rushing around.

I was saying to Hubs that I feel like I am going into the next birthday finally feeling like I am thriving. I finally feel like I have got my life together and that I am being the best version of myself that I can be. I’ve quit my job working in a bank and in just 2 short weeks I am going to be writing full time! I’ve always wanted to be creative as a job and writing is something that I love to do and feel so passionate about, but it always felt like a dream and something that I’d never reach because I wasn’t good enough or didn’t have the opportunities. But it’s happening and I am doing it because I have been brave enough and have believed in myself enough to take the leap. My dream is become a reality (as cheesy as that sounds!) and it still feels a bit like a pinch me moment. It’s not just in my career that I have shifted. I feel like I am mentally in a better place than ever before. I feel like for the first time I am in tune with my body and mind and I am doing whatever I can to support myself. Gone are the faddy diets and materialistic things. For the last few months, I have been listening to what my body needs and responding. I think about the calories and nutrients and I make sure I have a balanced diet BUT I listen to my body in those moments where it says ‘I NEED CHOCOLATE’ which is usually a couple of days before aunt flo visits! I’ve been taking vitamins and supplements to support myself and I have been exercising as a way to support my physical and mental wellbeing. Exercise has become something that I enjoy, and I strive to do at least 3-4 times away. BUT, as with food, I listen to my body. If it is a few days before I am due to come on and I am feeling tired, bloated and generally rubbish then I won’t push myself. I will do some yoga, or I will just do nothing. I have finally learnt that life is about balance and listening to my body is the only way to get the balance between physical fitness and happiness.

Finally (and if you have got this far then you deserve a medal as this is one hell of a word vomit post!!) I feel like I have sussed out my mental wellbeing. I haven’t hidden the fact that after having Smidge I was in a really bad place. I found spirituality and as much as it felt like an alien concept at the beginning, I went with it. Now, as I approach 32 years old, I am feeling more in tune with myself and my spirituality than ever before! I meditate and love it! I have crystals and use manifestation and journaling and have even started to learn about essential oils and the ways to use them. Some (my husband included) might think it’s crazy and a load of hocus pocus, but I bloody love it! I feel more peace and clarity than ever, and my anxiety is pretty much non-existent now. That’s not to say that there aren’t still moments where I wobble but I know feel that I have the knowledge and the tools to support myself when things feel uneasy.

So…March 12th…come at me! I am so ready to be 32 and to start this next chapter of my life. I am going to be self-employed and being creative for a living, I am going to be at home and able to focus even more on my own wellbeing and I am going to fill this next year with all the happiness and memories that I possible can. 2021 is going to be a year to THRIVE!! I can feel it 😊.

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